Raising 2 girls without the guidelines of gender is both rewarding, & very taxing. Our friends think that it’s great that we focus on education, wise decision making, & being curious over beauty tips & what the girls “should” like. My family on the other hand have given us more than enough grief. I have been accused of raising Acadia to be a heathen & a lesbian on more than one occasion, & told that I should force her to like princesses & everything pink so she won’t be an outcast. They purposely buy her dresses, barbie dolls, Disney princess things & various little girl makeup items like nail polishes & lip glosses. Most of these end up in the donation bin for the local Goodwill because no one in this house in interested. They harass me to harass my child to conform so she won’t be harassed. If she was dressed like a “girl” all the time & talked only of “girl” topics we would never have an opposing opinion. We would have accolades & encouragement to put her in beauty pageants & to keep up the good work.
Outsiders vary in their opinions. I have been asked if Acadia is a girl or a boy with long hair, when I say “girl” they look at her like she is from space & look at me like they are mentally recalling the number for Child Protection Services, when they say she is a “pretty girl” she says “And I’m smart too” as if she knows that could get lost in the shuffle if people only focused on her looks. She was born pretty, she grew to be smart. Some people hear her talk about comic books & dinosaurs & tell me that I am doing a great job. We frequent our local comic book shop where Acadia spends hours digging through comics, toys & Magic: The Gathering cards (she wants my husband & I to teach her to play this week while she is out on spring break). The guys who work there say that all those boys who teased her are going to get older & wish to god they had a girl as cool as she is now.
<3 – Alicia